Not Dead Yet
by InsideMyBrain
Summary: I've wandered foolishly into my own death trap. How long can I survive here? How long have I survived here? It could be a day, maybe a week? I don't know anymore. All I know is I'm not dead yet.
1. Chapter 1

**this is another one for my AC fan theory challenge! please note this is not a one-shot, this is a full story. theres nothing about Animal Crossing in the first chapter, actually. it might take some chapters to get there, oh well. The theory is:** Your human character is a stranded and lonely schizophrenic with a split personality. **so, let's get started, shall we?**

* * *

"Alright everyone, this way please!" My over-enthusiastic tour guide screeches. I pause to take one more picture of a flower before moving on with the rest of the group.

I'm on vacation right now, in Banff. I've booked a tour guide for the famous Banff National Park, and so far it hasn't disappointed me. There's great wildlife and amazing views. This tour isn't supposed to take too long, but the tour guide said she'd break a couple rules to show us this great place she found while hiking. I hope I get a lot of pictures.

We keep moving along, the clicking of cameras and insects surrounding us-it's hard to tell them apart. Then, we reach a thickly forested area. "This is it!" She yells. I'm fairly certain she's scared off all the birds. Honestly how did she even get this job?

She turns around and says in a quiet voice, "This is absolutely magnificent. It will blow your mind. But one word of warning. I want everyone to keep _right behind me_ going in. It's easy to get lost in these trees." On that note, she plunges into the wall of green, and the rest of us can't do anything but follow.

She was right. The trees seem to go on forever, and there's nothing special about them. No landmarks, nothing. You could get so lost in here. We must walk through the trees for at least five minutes. The green goes on and on and on, scratchy pine needles brushing up against my bare arms. It's hot and humid, and sweat drips down my brow. The whole way through, I keep my eyes on the back of the person in front of me. I sure as hell don't want to get lost.

Suddenly, bright sunlight strikes me, so sudden and intense it's like a slap in the face. I scrunch up my eyes, only to open them again when the tour guide shouts, "No, no, open your eyes! I want you to see this!"

Before me, a beautiful meadow stretches out, green with splotches of red, pink, and yellow flowers. The grass and flowers slope majestically off the edge of a cliff, and beyond that are breathtaking views of the mountains. A cool breeze blows everyone's hair off their foreheads, which feels good because I'm hot and sweaty from hiking. Everyone's clicking like crazy, so I get out my camera too. I take lots of pictures of the views and flowers.

The tour guide checks her watch. "We should probably be heading back now, before my supervisor starts to wonder where we are." Everyone nods, takes one last photo, and follows her back to the trees.

Except me. I hang back a little to take more pictures. I probably shouldn't be doing this, but I need to get a perfect shot of the cliff.

I finally get it and look around. Everyone's gone. I run into the trees where I think the others went. Hopefully soon I'll come out and everyone will be there waiting for me...

I emerge from the trees and look around. My group is nowhere in sight. I start to sweat again, but not from running. From being afraid.

This isn't the same place we came from. I look around carefully. Nope, it's not. There are different trees and animals. I gulp. No sign of anyone. This means I must have gotten turned around in that thicket of trees.

I'm lost. Lost in the woods in Banff. I'm not from here! I don't know how to get out, don't know how to live in the woods. I'm from freakin' Chicago!

As far as I know, I'm all alone in these woods now. And come to think of it, I can't see the hiking trail either. A bird caws over my head and I jump. What should I do? I pull out my cell phone from my pocket. No reception. Of course.

Luckily, I have some provisions. I take a backpack off my shoulders and unzip it. Inside is a bottle of water, some granola bars, my wallet, my passport, and other necessities. Well, at least I have that.

I open my water bottle and take a sip. I need to make some sort of a signal, so that my tour group can see me. Maybe a fire? I pull my lighter out of my pocket and flick it a couple times. Not working either.

"FUCK!" I yell in frustration. It echoes. _Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck..._

This makes me realize how truly alone I am. I sink to the ground, already feeling weak with exhaustion. I close my eyes, and when I open them again, the world is spinning. Blue sky, green trees, brown dirt and- OOOF! I wince as my face slams into the ground. I blink a couple times and my vision comes back into focus again. I see my arm, trembling. _Maybe it's better if I just lie here..._ I think blearily. The last thing I see before I pass out is a rabbit.

* * *

 **So that's chapter one! sorry the ending was kind of underwhelming. "The last thing I see before I pass out is... A _RABBIT._ " :P ****anyhoo, I don't know much about nature, or Banff, or Chicago... or anything really, so I'm sorry if I get stuff wrong. Also, my character WILL be going insane, so I'll try to make it refreshingly creepy. Hope you liked the first chapter!**


	2. Chapter 2

When I come to, it's dark. The black of night cloaks the forest, settling over it like a thick blanket. Stars twinkle in the sky, many more than I'm used to seeing at home. Tall trees sway gently in a warm summer wind. I sit up, my head aching.

Hopefully I haven't been out for long. I pull my phone out of my pocket and sigh in relief, squinting at the sudden bright light. It's still the same day. Thank God.

I squint at my phone again, a battered iPhone 4. In the top corner, it states there's no signal. It also indicates I have less than twenty percent battery.

I pull myself onto my feet, grunting at the effort. My backpack lies a few feet away. I pick it up and shove it onto my back. Then, I begin walking in a random direction, hoping for a hill.

Luckily, in less than five minutes, I hit upon one. I have to use my phone as a flashlight, which drains the battery very quickly. As I look at it, it goes down one percent. I grimace and keep going.

Up, up, up, and up. This hill seems to go on forever, and the temperature is dropping. It may be summer, but the higher you go, especially in Canada, the colder you're gonna get. I pause to put on a sweater that's been tied around my waist.

My phone battery is now at fifteen percent. I briefly wonder if I should just stop here, but then I banish that thought from my mind. Once I reach the top of this hill, I should get a signal. Maybe.

I finally reach the top of that endless hill, and hold my phone high. I stand on tiptoes too, for good measure. Faintly, I can detect perhaps one bar. Bring it back down to my face, I quickly call my brother. He's the first person I think of.

It rings for a few moments and he picks up. "Dude, what's up. How's your vacation going?" I can hear the grin in his voice.

"You gotta help me, I-" I stop talking as a buzzing noise grows louder and takes over my voice. I wait till it's over to start talking again. "Can you hear me?"

"Dan, you okay? You're not in trouble, are you?" He's frowning now, I'm sure that of it. While taking a beer out of the fridge too, in all probability.

"No, actually. I'm lost." I wait for the confusion, the grunt he always does when he thinks he's misunderstood something. It doesn't come.

I take the phone away from my ear and look at the screen. Dead. Pressing the home button yields nothing. Nor the power button. It's died. Right in the middle of a phone call that could have been my salvation.

Calm down. Once the tour got back and they realized I wasn't with them, the probably notified the park rangers or something. They're probably looking for me now.

I flop on the grass with a breathy laugh. Yes, I'll be just fine. I unzip my backpack to get something to eat. I take out one of the two granola bars that remain.

I only eat half and take a few sips of water. This park is a huge park, and if they're looking for me, they might not find me for a few days. I'd better make my food last.

I try to make myself into a comfortable position on the ground, but it's not exactly working. My sweater, while making an alright sort of pillow, is needed to keep my body warm. I settle for wearing the sweater and using my backpack to cushion my head.

As should be expected, I can't sleep. I'm hungry, cold, anxious, and most of all uncomfortable. The star-packed sky, however, is calming to look at. If I ignore the dread that's settled in my stomach like a ball of lead, it's almost peaceful. I find my eyes drooping, and eventually, fall asleep.

-oooo-

The chattering of birds wakes me up. I pry my eyes open.

It appears to be about midmorning. My stomach rumbles. The granola bar from last night wasn't enough. It occurs to me that I could very well die out here.

I need to gather my own food. I take a bite of the other half of the granola bar. If I don't get found soon, I'll starve.

The biggest problem is finding fresh water. My water bottle feels pretty light. I know water travels down, so I head down the hill in search of some.

I walk for a long time, I don't know how long. When the ground levels out again, I just keep going. I'm bound to run into another hill sometime soon; this is Banff after all. I have to find water and food. I just have to.

The midmorning has turned to late afternoon by the time I find fresh water. It's a little creek that runs through a thickly wooded aarea, the dirt squishy with pine needles. I stick my finger in, and it's freezing cold. Then I dunk my face, slurping up some of the clear water. Unexpectedly, it tastes delicious.

I plop myself down beside the creek and set down my backpack. I should make camp here.

The first thing I do is gather sticks and twigs. If there's one thing boy scouts taught me, it's how to make a proper fire. Next, I have to start thinking about shelter. It could rain, or become extremely windy. I find a large piece of bark which would do in a pinch. Using sticks, rocks, and a little bit of mud, I construct a decent shelter.

I sit back on my heels, looking at my handiwork proudly. I'm not too bad at this after all.

Next to think about is food. I don't know what sorts of nuts and berries grow around here, and I have little to no experience with determining whether something is poisonous or not. Hunting animals is out of the question as the damn things can run so fast. I've heard one can eat tree bark, but as I look at the jaggedy bark of the trees around me, I decide not to risk it.

I should probably go looking for a berry bush or something, but I need to make sure I can find this spot again. It's not like I can drop bread crumbs behind me as I go.

However, thinking about Hansel and Gretel gives me an idea. There's a tree near me with large, bright green leaves. They'll be easy to spot against the tan background of pine needles. I fill my pockets and wander off.

I walk in the direction from whence I came to get to the creek. Soon I emerge into an area that's not so thickly forested. In this part, the trees are light green and puffy. Above them, I can see the sky beginning to grow pink at the horizon. I walk faster.

I don't find any berry bushes. I don't find any nuts. I don't even see anything that looks remotely edible. And as the last faint streaks of orange disappear beneath the horizon, I turn back with a sigh.

At least the leaf idea has worked; I can find my way back to the creek fairly easily.

Animals skitter around me as I walk back. Bird calls die down, squirrels shimmy up trees. I see a fox streak past me and into a small hole. "Yeah, you better run." I murmur, mostly to make myself feel at least a little bit in control.

To tell the truth, I feel extremely vulnerable, all by myself in these woods. Alone with the elements of nature. I shudder, feeling an icy breeze tickle my skin.

By God, I better get out of here soon.


	3. Chapter 3

**Wow, it's been a while since I wrote for this story. Here's a half-assed chapter to make up for it.**

* * *

The sunrise wakes me up early. Of course, I don't know exactly what time it is, since my phone died long ago, but I know it's early. There is a reason people miss the sunrise so often.

I suppose I'm lucky, witnessing amazing sunrises like this every day. Today's is a light pink, with streaks wiped across the morning sky like messy paint. The combination of light blue and pink is pretty, and the dark violet that colours the undersides of the clouds is even prettier. I'd be able to enjoy it more if I wasn't sore all over and about to throw up.

Yesterday, and the day before that, I went looking for food. I've finished my granola bars, and there's no sign of edible plants yet. Maybe I should just tough it out and eat dandelions. I've heard they're sour, though.

Dandelions aside, I'm lucky I found water. It's probably not very clean, but hey, I need to stay alive. And speaking of staying alive, I have to start my daily search for food.

I haul myself up and stretch, hearing my joints crack grossly. Fingers, knees, hips, shoulders, back. Everything cracks like popcorn. I've never liked the sound of joints cracking, but it seems to be happening more often now that I'm stuck here. Fuck my life. As if being trapped in a never-ending forest isn't enough bad luck.

After a quick mental preparation, I leave my little makeshift hut and head out. The plus side to all this searching is that I know my surroundings pretty well and I can leave without dropping leaves behind me. Hm, was that a pun?

I head west, away from the sunrise. This takes me deeper into the forested area. It's not likely I'll find food in this place, but I'm going to take a chance. If I don't find something edible soon, I'm going to have to eat snails.

As I prowl through the forest, my mind starts wandering, and I start thinking about what got me here in the first place. That goddamn photograph. It's not like I was even going to show that to anyone, and my Instagram has about four followers. There was no point to that stupid picture.

And another thing, someone should have come after me by now. I mean, the tour guide did a head count before we went into the park. Wouldn't she do one after? Do they not care if one of their customers gets lost due to a rule-breaking employee? I did pay up front, but still.

This whole situation is hopeless. For God's sake, I can't even find food! I'm going to starve here!

For some reason, this is funny, and the more I think about it the more I laugh. That's right, Dumb Dan is going to starve in the woods because he's too much of an idiot to follow the tour guide who obviously knew more about the area than he ever will. I'm going to die out here and vultures will come feed on my bones. My skull, the thing that protects my hardly-used brain, will be left by the riverbank, picked clean. What a lovely mental image that is, my carcass rotting among the pine needles.

My laugh turns to a cough, and all of a sudden my knees are too weak to hold me up any longer, and I fall over, laughing through my cough. This is ridiculous. Completely fucking ridiculous.

When I close my eyes, blue and green spots dance behind my eyelids, and purple swirls weave in between them. Squeezing my eyes shut even more only yields flashes of red in my vision.

You stupid motherfucker, A voice whispers at the back of my head.

"Shut up." I say out loud, my voice rasping. I try to open my eyes but somehow I can't. They feel superglued shut, the eyelashes melded to my cheeks. The crazy colours and patterns continue to swirl around, and I feel more nauseous than ever.

You deserve to die out here, The voice continues. It's not my own voice, which is weird. It's not even the warped variation of my voice that I hear when I think. This is completely new, a low, laughing kind of voice. Amusement is stitched into every syllable, as if whoever it is finds my misfortune funny. Like I'm a character in a book that reader is glad is getting killed off.

"You're going to shut your mouth right now." I tell it. The voice laughs. What the shit?

I don't have a mouth. I'm not a person, nor any kind of physical being.

"The hell are you, then?"

It laughs again. The little fucker. I'm your doubts, It drawls. And you do realize you're lying on the ground talking to yourself, right? Pathetic.

My eyes fly open with a start. Was I saying that all to myself? Was I really just having a conversation out loud with myself?

That really is pathetic.

My eyes need some time to adjust, but once they do, I nearly have a heart attack.

A blueberry.

A motherfucking goddamn blueberry is lying right in front of my eyes. I snatch it up, almost not believing it's real. But when I pop it in my mouth, oh sweet Lord it is most definitely real. The taste that explodes in my mouth is sweetness and sourness at the same time, and the juice stains my fingers and lips incredibly for such a small thing.

I sit up, and wonder where I can find more. If there's one, there's got to be a bush somewhere. With this in mind, I get up, my nausea not so intense now.  
The bush is a few yards away, in a patch not so densely wooded, where sunlight can easily reach. Among the blueberries are also raspberries and blackberries. I must have died and gone to heaven. I eat a lot, but I also fill my pockets to bring some back to my camp.

Quite content, I wander back to my little hut and wash my hands in the brook. Then I just sit there, sighing happily. Perhaps I'm not so screwed.

So much time has passed since I first ventured out this morning. By the position of the sun in the sky, it's probably somewhere near noon. If I listen closely, I can almost hear the twelve bongs of a clock reaching the hour.

I spend the rest of the day eating, drinking, and wandering around. Now that I don't have hunger gnawing at my gut, the beauty of the place I'm lost in really strikes me. If my phone wasn't dead, I'd have several more pictures to show to nobody.

Unfortunately, I find my thoughts wandering back to how I'm going to get out of here. The topic is so hopeless that I try not to think about it, but being by myself with no distractions, my mind can't help but dwell on it. I wonder what my brother thinks. Did he just hang up and go 'oh well'? Have the park rangers called him to say I got lost? I think my flight is supposed to be leaving for home tomorrow, it's so hard to keep track of the time here. If I don't call him to say I'm back from my trip, will he assume something has happened?

To shift my attention away from this dismal subject, I start to sing. I'm not the best, but it's to keep my mind occupied. I've been doing it a lot lately. The first song that comes to mind is Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes. I hum the guitar part for a while before my voice peters out and I lose the tune. I start again with another song.

"You're a rich girl, and you've gone too far 'cause you know it don't matter anyway." I belt out, my voice probably way out of tune, but I don't care. "You can rely on the old man's money, you can rely on the old man's money, it's a bitch girl, and you've gone too far 'cause you know it don't matter anyway."  
Hall and Oates gets boring after a while, so I move onto other songs. Better songs, too. Some Tragically Hip, I even attempt The Clash. Yeah, okay. It's time to stop now, Dan.

But I feel good. The best I've felt since I got here. And I don't care if this won't last, because I'm going to cling to this feeling of happiness as long as I have it.


End file.
